October 19, 1999
Guilt
Should I be doing more at work than I am?
It's depressing to think about how little I do here. To lay it
out for you:
- I make coffee in the morning, and refresh as needed;
- I get the mail and distribute it to the office mailboxes;
- I answer the phones;
- I buy the doughnuts, fruit, and bagels for the training sessions
our office runs;
- I put postage on outgoing mail and take it to the post office;
- I call people to correct the addresses (or delete them) when the
mail comes back as undeliverable;
- I type what they ask me to type;
And my big job:
- I schedule seminars, send out invitations, and register the
people who want to come.
That may sound like a lot, but consider that there are only about
twelve people in our office. That doesn't translate to a whole lot
of mail, phone calls, or typing. What it translates to is a whole
lot of web surfing and email. That's mostly great, but week upon
week of that is enough to make anybody feel guilty.
Every once in a while, especially around seminar time, I start
to get a little busy, and it's such a shock that I usually fall
behind before I notice it coming. Doesn't take me long to catch up,
but it's a little embarassing. For instance, my boss is trying to
make a decision about cellular service, and he wants me to put
together information about all the possible sources for him. I've
been so busy with the festival that I was
taken off guard when he asked me for the information this afternoon. I
apologized and told him I had left it at home; unfortunately, I
hadn't actually even called to request the stuff yet. Whoops. So
tonight I get to run around to as many cell dealers as I can, begging
for literature about packages without roaming fees.
The funny thing is, I had to actually research what a roaming
fee was. Before I worked here, I had never even used a cell phone.
These guys use them to the point of abuse.
I'm not worried about losing my job, but I do think I could be
doing more for the company. I just can't seem to work up enough
energy to even care, beyond the vague sense of guilt about taking
advantage of them. It's really kind of sad. Does it make me
a terrible person, to shamelessly shirk any kind of company loyalty?