I don't know why nobody will believe me about this tattoo business. I really did get one! A big one! On my breast! One that makes a strong statement of my beliefs! I really did...get a...

Okay, okay. It was an April Fool's joke. But should I be a little bit miffed that only one or two people actually believed for a moment that I could be the kind of person who gets a tattoo? Am I really so vanilla?

(Fill in the sound of an only halfway-kidding "harrumph" here.)

Actually, though, I probably am too timid to go through with something like that. Aside from the pain (and, despite having had natural childbirth, I am a big old wimp when it comes to any sort of discomfort), I probably never be able to actually make a decision about which image to have permanently embedded under the surface of my skin. Do I go political or sweet? Dramatic or doodly? And where should I have the thing done, anyway? Too obvious, and I would regret it; too hidden, and what's the point?

One thing's for certain, though: as long as Sam is nursing, a breast tattoo is definitely not something I'd contemplate. April Fool!

I'm bad at lunches. The whole concept of the meal leaves me clueless. I have a mental block when it comes to the idea of what to prepare; for my entire life, I've been eating lunches other people have prepared for me, and now that I'm the mama, I'm at a loss.

The biggest block is that I have some sort of issue with actually cooking in the middle of the day. Dinner, certainly; breakfast, occasionally. But lunch? Lunch is supposed to be casual, entail a minimum of preparation time, and involve little to no thought. Standing in front of a stove seems just wrong for lunch. A microwave is acceptable, but not much more.

On the other hand, I'm sick to my stomach of cold sandwiches. I feel like I did back in elementary school, before I started buying lunches in the cafeteria instead of packing them. Baloney and cheese? Again? I'm avoiding peanut butter for another fifteen months, so that eliminates that option. Tuna fish makes me ill; potato salad makes me cringe.

I could eat salads, I suppose, if we weren't absolutely deficient at being able to keep lettuce around in this house. There must be something wrong with our fridge (and every fridge I've ever owned, come to think of it), because any head of lettuce ever to enter it turns brown and soggy immediately. Plus, Sam, lacking back teeth, has real problems trying to chew raw leafy vegetables, anyway.

Soup? I could do that, as long as it's microwavable (as per my earlier mental issue). Fruits? They go over well, but they tend to disappear faster than I can purchase them; Sam loves fruit above all other foods. Microwave convenience foods? I do these with embarrassing frequency, but they're so expensive as to be prohibitive (or should be, if I stick to my guns).

Today, unable to face the thought of yet another baloney sandwich, I made a slight amendment to my "no cooking" rule to encompass the Foreman Grill, upon which I fixed a chicken breast. It was adequate, but now I have to clean up (ah, that's why I hate to cook at lunch!). And Sam slept through lunch, having gone to sleep before eleven; I still have to think of something for him when he wakes. Happily, he shows no signs of tiring of sandwiches, though he always disassembles them before devouring them.

I'm thinking about this way too much, I realize. Trust me, this problem only enters my mind around noon each day; I don't dwell on it at any other time - most especially not when I'm actually grocery shopping and am in a position to do something constructive about it.

Eric called from work with a nice surprise. It turns out that he was able to finagle a free laptop from a guy at another plant! Hurrah for freebies! This one has only one minor cosmetic defect (a missing cover near the bottom), but it's a better machine than our desktop PC, so you won't hear a word of complaint pass my lips.

Eric says that he thinks the laptop actually has a CD burner in it, too, which means that I can now begin the enormous task of trying to put all of our digital pictures on CD. The task is lessened in weight by the fact that, for the most part, I have them currently organized in directories by date; on the other hand, I'd eventually like to have them set up so I can see them displayed in a more visual fashion. Is it possible to have Gallery, PhotoPost, or some other program like them run locally on a CD? Ideally, I'd like to be able to create the CDs for family members and not have them have to install anything or otherwise work very hard to view the albums. Trust me when I say that, for many of them, a little icon that says "Click here" is as much technology as they can handle. Something that auto-launches would be better yet, but I'm not pinning my hopes too high.

Little Man just woke up, so I need to go make his sandwich. He doesn't sound thrilled to be in the Land of the Conscious, so this may take some doing. Have a great day!