The last time I came here you were having a very difficult time in your marriage. I'm glad to see things have improved so much! Hugs to you, and happy birthday.

Carrie,

Congrats on Sam's first potty! Yay!

Regarding milestones, there will come a point when Sam will honestly NOT want a reward for the pooping/peeing (whatever terms are used in your house) that he does in the potty.
If he is TRULY ready to be toilet-trained, then he will by himself reach a point where he doesn't even think about the reward.
Yes, you need to make it fun at first. Stickers, M and M's, whatever works. After all, this is a habit he'll be doing for the rest of his life. If you don't offer an incentive, the novelty of this new activity wears off very fast.
For us, we used a sticker chart. Sean got to place a sticker on a big sheet of posterboard whenever he did the deed.
Eventually, he stopped asking for stickers but kept on pooping and peeing. And not only at home, but out in public. He's gotten quite good about telling us before he has to go.
But Sean was also a late bloomer. He was 3 1/2 before he was potty-trained. We spent last summer on or near potties. But it worked.
So don't worry if Sam doesn't do it consistently yet. He will!

Hang in there!
:)

As someone who cut my fair share of class, I can honestly say that it's pretty much never because of the professor. Mainly, you just want the extra sleep. They probably shouldn't schedule early morning class on Saturday, but they knew when it met when they signed up.

I cut lots of classes, but when the instructor had a strict policy (like miss more than one class and the course grade goes down by a letter, then by another for additional missed classes) I went to every class -- including my 8 am radio course. I went to every radio class, except for one (strep infection, with documentation).

What the kids take away from the class is all on their shoulders. If they don't improve their performance skills or technique, it's their loss. That said, they deserve a major chewing out for the rude way they treated you. If you have any random aggression, feel free to take it out on the kiddies:) Well, a small amount. In a professional way. Put like that, it isn't as much fun:)

Hi, Carrie, I agree with what's been said here. I just graduated from college and I think giving all of them a 0 is a fair response. If some/all had called/e-mailed you BEFORE class or immediately after with a legitimate excuse it might be different, but - I agree that food poisoning = hangover. Tell him/her to bring a doctor's note if he/she wants credit. Don't let them get complacent about class - one of the best lessons I learned.

*hugs* to you - here's hoping you get a little stress relief in the next few weeks! And congrats to Sam on the potty milestone!

I don't blame you for being hurt by your students' absence, and I agree with everyone that it should be dealt with FIRMLY, but please try not to take it personally. Thinking back to my time in college, when I hear that they were *all* gone, my first thought is that there must have been some big party in town the night before. Community colleges don't have the cohesive party scene of four year schools, but if it was, say, homecoming weekend for a larger school and all the clubs in town were offering cheaper than usual beer, free covers, etc...add to that the fact that "food poisoning" is a perennial popular euphemism for "hangover" amongst the too-young-to-legally-drink crowd when making excuses, and I think you likely have some external factors at play. In other words, they need to learn a lesson in cause and effect, but you don't need to worry that you're the reason why you had an empty classroom. You spent that hour by yourself because those kids are immature brats-PERIOD.

Happy (almost) birthday! :)

On that note (and before less cheerful stuff) you should go to Ciao tomorrow (it's on Monroe Street by the ramp for US23 in Sylvania). They have amazing (and pricey) food, but they give you a free meal complete with (non alcoholic) drinks and desert on your birthday. I was there last Tuesday on my 31st. You just need a driver's license or other proof of the date. It' one of the best restaurants in the area (and I review them for the City Paper, so I've been to quite a few).

Oh, and speaking of reviews, if you need a little cheering up, take advantage of your Owens discount and see Joseph and the Amamzing Technicolor Dreamcoat there. The cast is near professional quality and the show is short enough that Sam could probably enjoy it. They have a 2pm Sunday matinee.

As for the bugs, the house and the bad news, none of it is your fault. If you can't control a situation, there's no percentage in guilt. Eric is probably just as frustrated as you are and feeling like he's totally responsible for the move, so he's taking it out on you. I'm sure he knows none of this is your fault -- and I hope you know it, too.

Are you going to be near the Wisconsin Dells? There's an amazing state park there -- Devil's Lake -- you should try swimming there when it's warm. They also have great hiking and camping -- not that I know first hand as I do neither and think of roughing it as any hotel that doesn't have HBO. Some of my friends hike and camp there every year, and I can vouch for the wonderful swimming. If you don't mind ice cold showers afterward, it's pretty sweet.

Take care of yourself:) Happy 28th.

Carrie, there's a huge difference between extrinsic rewards for a "first," and extrinsic rewards for every single thing a kid does. Especially if you're not trying to 'buy' compliance, but to simply celebrate a milestone with him. Like a birthday. Except this was his poopday! ;-)

I'm sorry this is so hard. But, as far as the house situation goes - think back to May and early June, while you were going through the process of getting this house. That was NOT easy, was it? You bid on a house and didn't end up getting it for reasons having nothing to do with you. It was stressful and miserable. BUT, you all made it through it and found a house you loved. Think back even further to what you went through to have Sam. That was obviously not something you would want to live through again. It was stressful. BUT, you now have the child you so desperately wanted and I'm sure you wouldn't change a thing!

I know, this means nothing when you're stressed and dealing with stress NOW. It is only meant to show you that you and your family have come through stressful times before and come out on the other side better off, more fulfilled, and with your goals reached. You are totally capable of doing it again. It sucks, but it cannot ruin you or change you; you cannot let it.

As for your students - their inconsiderate behavior in not showing up needs to be responded to, and you need to do it in an authoritative manner. Elective or not, Saturday morning or not, they need to know there are consequences to their actions. Let them make up the test, and stick to the reduced grade. But, the email or a statement in the next class is definitely called for in this situation. YOU have a life too and can't just "not show up" because you don't want to. You have a responsibility to teach, they have a responsibility to show up, at the very least. Their actions have no bearing on your worth or abilities. They're kids who are in the process of learning how to be respectful and they obviously haven't mastered it yet. That is not your fault and it is NOT a reflection on you, as a person or as a teacher.

Hang in there!

Oh, and Ken -
The problem with extrinsic rewards is that they're not as motivating or as long-lasting as intrinsit rewards (proud feelings, etc.) If I give Sam a treat every time he uses the potty, he starts to rely on that as being his sole reason for doing it, and there's the risk that when the treats stop, so will the potty use.

Thanks, guys. :-)

Unfortunately, I can't give them all zeros yet. I allowed for missed classes in the syllabus by saying that missed exams (and this one was on the class calendar!) could be made up at the following class at the loss of one letter grade.

(For some of them, this will essentially mean a zero even if they take it next Saturday, as you can't do really well if you rarely show up for class in the first place.)

I'm still feeling hurt that they would do this; it's hard not to take it personally when they all do it. I've gotten an email from one (1) student, telling me he had food poisoning. At least he had the courtesy to write.

Carrie, it is a worrying time for you, but you'll come out the other end smiling I'm sure! Try to get some rest and relaxation - you deserve it - even though there seems like there is so much to do, you can't do it all at once. I prescribe lots of cuddles with Sam and Eric - and do some baking. That always works for me. :)
xx

As a Community College student... I think giving them all a 0 is not only the appropriate response... but the fair response.

Community college is inpart to teach us students how to be a college student. Attending class is important and if community college "cushions" or protects the students to much, the community college risk failing the student.

Oh, and don't be humiliated, I cut my favorite classes every once in a while.

If you're up for book recommendations, I just finished God Help Me! This Stress Is Driving Me Crazy! by Gregory Popcak to be very helpful.

I know you're a pretty experienced teacher, but I thought I'd share this little insight with you. I learned the hard way that the crucial step to getting a class to like you (and the material) is make sure that they respect you and your authority as a professor. In my experience, this is hardest in classes where the students are near in age to the professor, since your students would be considered your peers if you encountered them in almost any other situation.

Don't be afraid to come down hard on them if they deserve it. Be fair but firm, and you'll earn their respect. I've found that once they respect you, it's almost as if they're free to love your class and the material... and by extension, you!

I agree with the pop quiz 0 for not showing up. Yes, it sucks that you took the time to write it but but...their loss! Sounds like they need a kick in the butt like that!

Stress sucks. I can't give a whole lot of advice here becuase I'm sucombing to it myself. I can only imagine what it would be like right now without the anti-depressants I'm on. Have you considered getting back on/upping the dose of antidepressants until the move is complete? Just might help you get through it. Maybe Eric too. Actually Xanax for him ; ) I know the thought of medicine is not a happy one for everybody but if it will get you through it then it may be worth it.

Hugs to you. I wish there was something I could do. Let me know if there is!

I agree with Miranda on the student situation. Let them know it is NOT OK to just blow off the class. Brats is right! Hubbie and baby are definitely not cursed to have you, they are extremely lucky. Everyone has days when they would rather hide under the covers than face the problems of the day. You are stronger than you feel right now. You'll get through this.
((((HUGS))))

Why isn't it good to reward achieving a big milestone with something?

I ask this completely out of curiosity, because it is not a thought that I would normally have.

((hugs)) Hang in there. Tell your piano kids there was a pop quiz but as no one showed up, they've all received a 0 on it and it will affect their entire grade. Let them know there will be another in the coming classes, and they're best to be there. Remind them of the grade structure and that you are not against failing those who determined attendance wasn't required, that you won't be handing out extra marks just to push them over the top. Brats.

As for the house and such - what stress. Keep trying to take some "you" time... cuddle both your husband and your baby as much as you can... breath deeply.

Take care :) You'll get through this.