Thursday, November 13
Thank You
I appreciate all the prayers being said for my mother-in-law (yep, Dreama, it's Rita). I talked to her last night, and she's feeling okay, except that every time she thinks about "the babies" (Sam and his cousin Hailey), she falls apart. She hasn't been sleeping because of that, so her doctor prescribed Valium.
They can't do a needle biopsy on her lung, since she only has one and it has shifted; apparently, a needle biopsy is "blind," and there's too great a risk. They are going to biopsy the other side of her chest, and the doctor says they can get results from that. That's scheduled for tomorrow. They're thinking of trying chemo if it's cancer. She's being told that, since it's probably small-cell (it's shown up only since last year and is already the size of a golfball), it will be very treatable.
She's not being told that nobody's really optimistic. I think she's got that figured out, though.
Eric and his brother are messes.
What about Sam? How do I explain this to a child who's never even expressed interest in dead animals on the road? I don't know how much he's understanding, and I don't want to load him down when it could be months ahead of us. So far, he's at "Gramma sick; Papou sad." I suppose that's enough for now, though I'm not even sure he knows to which grandmother we're referring.
We're going to his family's house for Thanksgiving instead of mine. After that, we need to figure out how to use Eric's vacation time wisely. He's got two weeks left until the end of March. We could use FMLA if we have to.
Posted on November 13, 08:37 AM
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My grandmother passed when Emily was about Sam's age. I had a difficult time explaining death to her. My mother purchased this book:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0307440435/qid=1068869618/sr=1-2/ref=sr_1_2/102-9532358-5611344?v=glance&s=books
It's beautiful, well written, and very moving. I hope that it can help the little ones in your family the way it helped mine.
Carrie, I'm sending a lot of love and comfort your way. I wish I could be there to hug you in person. (((((big warm hug))))
If you ever need help with anything, or your mother in law does, you might want to try hospice. I wrote a story on hospice last year, and they have really amazing programs for people coping with very serious family illness. One of the people I interviewed was an art therapist who worked with children. I still have the story -- e-mail me if you'd like a copy.
Hospice will often go into people's homes and help them and their families. If insurance won't cover it, it's free. They also provide therapy and support, especially for kids who are too young to really understand what's happening.
I hope the tests offer some hope. It ain't over til it's over, as Yogi Berra once said:) Take care of yourself and give Eric my best.
