Tuesday, November 25
Jesus concepts?
In the realm of the vaguely spooky...
I mentioned before that Sam was still at the "Grandma sick, Papou sad" stage of understanding the whole concept of Rita's cancer. I hadn't really been working to expound on that; I figured that it was enough for him to digest right now, at least until we got to see her again and I could make sure he knew to which grandma we were referring. I did get a couple of picture books about death and loss (one involving a hippo who dies and one with vague concepts about heaven), but we drew no connection between them and what's happening here.
Sam first came to the stage he's at now when I was doing my makeup and he was playing in the shower stall. Henceforth, he usually seems to fall back upon the idea when he climbs into the stall to play. Every morning: "Grandma sick! Papou sad?" Yes, honey; we're all sad.
Yesterday, he suddenly seemed to have a revelation. "Grandma die?" I was startled; we'd not said that to him yet. Trying to stay calm, I affirmed that, yes, Grandma was probably going to die. I didn't want to lie, especially since he seemed to have figure this out on his own.
Then he said, "Grandma go yee-haw Jesus?"
Now, I have no idea how he came to this. First, nowhere in my memory can I recall ever making a link between Jesus and heaven for him; we've talked about God being in heaven, but I don't think I've actually said anything about Jesus along those lines. I don't think a two-year-old can understand the Trinity, you know?
And then there's the whole concept of Rita going to heaven. Never discussed, and he didn't seem interested in the book, so I gave up after a few pages.
And the idea of Rita joining Jesus with a rousing "Yee-haw" like she does with Sam when they listen to bluegrass tapes is pure Sammy-genius. Couldn't have gotten it from anywhere but his own imagination.
So where did the seed come from? I'll have to ask his church teachers if they've done any discussion of heaven and Jesus. I can't recall doing much beyond very easy Bible stories (healing sick people, nativity, etc.) when I had the two and three-year-olds.
He's actually been kind of Jesus-centered lately, though, in weird ways that haven't come from Eric or me. When he was coloring a picture last night, he paused partway though and muttered, "Help me, Jesus!" Gave me the shivers, it did.
Posted on November 25, 04:32 PM
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When my MIL died this past February (only 50...very devastating :( ), we knew about 3 days before she died that she was going to. Our youngest had just turned 4 at the time. Our other 2 were 6 and 10. We told the oldest two that she was going to die and when we took them to the hospital the last time, we let them know that this would probably be the last time they would see her. We didnt explain much to our youngest. We answered his questions of course, but we didnt go out of our way to tell him anything because we were afraid it would confuse and upset him - Ive read that kids his age just cannot grasp the concept of death. He knew it was a sad time, but he took it all surprisingly in stride and asked very few questions. Even now, we get the occasional, "Nana Becky died?" and we tell him yes and that she is in Heaven and that he is content with that answer. I know its best to always have these things out in the open, but be prepared for him to asked her directly (once he knows which Gramma you mean) if she is going to die, since you have discussed this with him and it might not hurt to prepare her as well. I swear nothing makes your stomach drop like a lil guy asking the wrong person (in our case, Becky's widower immediately following the funeral which the kids did not attend) if "Nana Becky was dead". It caught him off guard and he broke down in agonizing sobs which broke everyone's heart and frightened Teiger. Kids are just so very honest and havent learned things like when its best to not say anything at all. I am sure that the entire family, including her, are very emotional and rightfully so. It might really catch her off guard for him to ask her that and there is no way now to keep him from it - thats why I thought you might want to prepare her. Then again, he might not say a word about it and talking to her about the possibility of him saying something would upset her needlessly. Jeez, there are just no easy answers are there? I just wanted to share my experiences with the same situation with you so maybe it would be helpful to you. All I know is that I am sorry for you and your family. I know how terrible this can be firsthand. My prayers are with you.
