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01/22/2002 Entry: "West Virginia"

Are You From West Virginia?

(These aren't really jokes, either; they're quite accurate, but funny nonetheless. I may not have been born in West Virginia, but my little area of Maryland was so far west that it might well have been considered "Eastern West Virginia," at least in terms of culture.)

You Know You're From WV (or have lived here long enough) if:

You know what a real tomato is, and have a recipe for fried or candied ones.
     Mmmm, fried tomatoes!

Stores don't have bags; they have pokes. They don't have shopping carts; they have buggies.
     I still occasionally slip and call it a buggy.

Your parents have threatened to have you sent to Pruntytown.
     From what I was told, when West Virginia was building both the University and Pruntytown prison, the city of Grafton lobbied hard to get the prison instead of the school - and believed they were lucky to get it.

You can spell and pronounce words like Allegheny, Canaan, Gilmer, Monongalia, Monongahela, Kanawha, and Hawks Nest.
     Of course, the residents don't actually often even say Monongalia (as in County) or Monongahela (as in River); both are abbreviated to "Mon," as in "Mon County" and "the Mon River."

You know West Virginia is a separate state, not a part of Virginia.
     Drives me nuts when I say I went to school in West Virginia, and people say, "Oh, I have friends in Roanoke!"

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, or grain. (Strawberry Festival, Buckwheat Festival, Ramp, etc.)
     For those that don't know, a ramp is a particularly potent wild onion whose scent lingers in the pores of the skin for days after being eaten. City-wide Ramp Festivals are held for the purpose of enabling everybody to be able to stand being around each other afterward.

Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a coal truck on a two lane highway.
     No lie - my cousin's husband lost his job for getting drunk and rolling his coal truck.

You know several people who have hit a deer.
     At my high school, a couple of guys plowed a deer, then brought it to school to be dissected in biology. It earned a two-page color spread in the yearbook.

Your school classes were canceled because of cold or heat or hunting season.
     Didn't everybody's?

You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
     Now this, I didn't do. I know people who did, though.

You've seen people wear bib overalls at funerals.
     Do weddings count?

You've seen a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
     Hey, if you turn it off, it might not come back on!

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with ice and snow.
     I don't know about better, but definitely scarier due to this fact.

You cook green beans for a really long time.
     The impaired chef in me is afraid of the pressure cooker. I hate the way it hisses...

You don't ever park your car without setting the emergency brake.
     It took almost a full year of living in the flatlands of Ohio to lose that habit.

The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page, but requires six pages for sports.
     That always drove me crazy. The national headlines were usually a day or two behind, as well.

You know if another West Virginian is from southern, central, or northern WV as soon as they open their mouth.
     A-yup. Eric's much better at this than I am.

You know at least one couple who went to Virginia or Kentucky to get married.
     Not personally, thank God.

When you fry bologna, you know to cut the edges.
     Seriously, fried bologna is not that bad. You'll just have to take my word for it, I'm sure.

You actually understand these jokes and forward them to all of your WV Friends.
     Weblogs count!

Replies: 6 sandcastles

In Pittsburgh we have buggies, driving is better in the winter, and I've known of quite a few funerals where the corpse was photographed. My grandfather was a funeral director and he said that it was an old-time and rural custom so that people who didn't make it to the funeral could have a "last look" at the deceased. Eek, whatevah! Oh, and people here eat fried bologna too, usually on a sandwich with french fries and coleslaw at a place called Primantis. Blech.

Posted by Dreama @ 01/22/2002 08:00 PM EST

Here in TN they also call them buggies. I am from Northern Ohio and get laughed at by my husband for calling them carts. One day I was browsing my in-laws photos and came across funeral photos. I was so freaked out. I ask my hubby why anyone in their right mind would take photos of a funeral. You take photos to remember good times not depressing sad times. Gesh! =o)

Posted by Amber @ 01/22/2002 07:16 PM EST

I had never heard of this funeral custom before I moved to north Georgia. Glad to know other people have experienced it too!

I attended a funeral a few years ago where someone took photographs of the deceased and actually showed them to the new widow when we were all gathered back at her house following the burial. I have absolutely no idea what that photographer relative was thinking. Was she expecting compliments on her photography skills?

Posted by ashley @ 01/22/2002 02:54 PM EST

Taking photos at funerals is apparently common in the hollers of southern Ohio, too. At my dad's funeral, several close friends were given strict instructions that if they saw any family approaching the casket with a camera, they were to be herded out of the room immediately.

I think I read an Ann Landers column on this recently where she defended the practice by saying that it's quite common in many (rural?) parts of the country. I still think it's creepy.

Posted by Amy @ 01/22/2002 02:41 PM EST

Well, I know we have pictures of my grandfather in his coffin. I don't know if it's standard procedure, though.

What I want to know is, what's proper etiquette for when you come across a displayed portrait of someone's deceased loved one in their home? Do you comment? How do you suppress the shudders?

Posted by Carrie @ 01/22/2002 10:09 AM EST

Down here in Georgia, we also call shopping carts "buggies."
However, one of my co-workers is from Jamaica, and they call them "trollies" there.
In West Virginia, do they take pictures of the corpse at funerals? Apparently it's a common practice in north Georgia.
I think it's just plain icky.

Posted by ashley @ 01/22/2002 09:59 AM EST