Sunday, March 31

Well, the in-laws are gone. It wasn't a horrible weekend; in fact, we all had quite a pleasant time. I'll have pictures later. Sam loved his Easter basket, which included a bunny-shaped sports cup and a stuffed hippo. He was also pleased as punch that Grandma brought his Christmas wagon, and Grandpa had a good time pulling him around in it yesterday afternoon.

I finished my pillow a few minutes ago, and I'll have pictures up of it later. It looks pretty good, if I do say so myself. Sam thinks it's a big toy and tries to throw it around.

Well, I'm heading off to play in the bed with my family. G'night!

posted by Carrie - 06:11 PM

Friday, March 29

Friday Five:

1. If you could eat dinner with and "get to know" one famous person (living or dead), who would you choose?
Stravinsky. I love reading his writings, and he just seemed to have such a caustic and hilarious wit. He referred to the ondes martinot as "the musical equivalent of a colonoscopy," described the masses of Mozart as "pseudo-roccoco sweets of sin," and was once heard to say, "Why is it that every time I hear a piece I hate, it's always by Villa-Lobos?" I love a man not afraid to speak his mind.
2. Has the death of a famous person ever had an effect on you? Who was it and how did you feel?
I still miss Douglas Adams and have trouble believing that there will be no further Hitchhiker books.
3. If you could BE a famous person for 24 hours, who would you choose?
Do I have to be name-level famous? I'd love to be concertmaster of the Berlin Philharmonic, or some other great orchestra.
4. Do people ever tell you that you look like someone famous? Who?
Never. Oh, well.
5. Have you ever met anyone famous?
I've met all manner of well-known composers: John Corigliano (with whom I had a lesson), Karel Husa, Xenakis, Bernard Rands, Larry Austin, and Jeffrey Mumford. I deliberately avoided meeting Pauline Oliveros, though; she's too freaky, even for me.

posted by Carrie - 11:12 AM

Thursday, March 28

I am going to scream!

(But I can't, because then he would, too.)

posted by Carrie - 07:07 PM

Wednesday, March 27

When we've needed a break today, Sam and I have been jamming to Tunak Tunak. (You'll need RealPlayer for that.) I laughed so hard I nearly peed myself the first time I heard it, but by twenty seconds into the song, I was loving it. Sam thinks it's pretty cool, too; he bops his little head around and tries to snap his fingers.

posted by Carrie - 05:26 PM

Um. Power outages yesterday. Yuck. But at least the storms seem to be over; nothing left but the melting.

I am now supremely busy with trying to clean and organize this place for the in-laws' visit this weekend. Here's the list:

  • Laundry
  • Wash diapers
  • Fold and store Sam's outgrown clothes
  • Move bike trailer into my trunk
  • Mail Mom's birthday present
  • Hang the babygate at Sam's door
  • Clean off the steps
  • Hang the Dustbuster
  • Declutter the computer area
  • Scrub the bathroom
  • Dishes
  • Mop the kitchen floor
  • Vacuum the bedroom
  • Clean out the guinea pig hutch

And all with a baby clinging to my legs, as he is right now. Can I do it?

posted by Carrie - 10:16 AM

Monday, March 25

We are in the middle of the first (!) snowstorm of the year, and Eric is stuck halfway in the ditch next to our driveway. I tried to help him jump the car out, but it wouldn't budge. Our neighbor is trying to tow him out with his truck as I type.

Goodness, and to think we almost missed this fun this year...

posted by Carrie - 06:27 PM

We had a blast this weekend! Sam did as well in the car as could reasonably be expected; we had to stop once for comfort nursing on the way down, but on the way back he made it almost the whole way before fussing. I kept a big bag of new toys from the thrift store up in the front seat with me, and whenever he fussed, I would hand him one.

We had fun swimming in the hotel pool with my mom on Saturday night; Sam splashed like a maniac, getting water in his eyes and nose until he was coughing and choking. He insisted on being on his belly so he could splash with arms and legs. He didn't want to stop until he got too cold to continue. Fun for all!

On Sunday, we went to the Carnegie Science Center, where a huge water table kept Sam fascinated for almost fifteen minutes straight. We had to take his socks off and cover him with a too-big smock in order to try to keep him dry, but it didn't help much. He figured out how to work a scooping tool and happily swished ping-pong balls around on the surface of the water; he didn't even protest when an over-zealous preschooler started splashing him in the face. Sam's such a goof for water; whenever we neared a display that involved water in any way, he started struggling in our arms to try to get to it.

Good to be home, though. Now, if only I can whip this place into shape for the in-law visit this weekend...

posted by Carrie - 10:44 AM

This ad for the Australian Breastfeeding Association is just too precious.

posted by Carrie - 09:07 AM

Saturday, March 23

And we're off to Pittsburgh! See you tomorrow night.

posted by Carrie - 08:40 AM

Friday, March 22

tv (27k image)

"Look, Mommy! I can turn on the TV! What's Days Of Our Lives? I'll just change the channels. Oh, that was fun! Let's see what else is up here. A big black box, covered in buttons! And what's behind this plastic door? Lots and lots of little round, shiny plates. I'll just pull out a handful to taste...Wait, Mommy! Why are you closing that door and putting tape over it? Man, you're no fun."

posted by Carrie - 01:57 PM

Friday Five:

1. What is your favorite time of year?
It used to be the fall, but lately I've been falling in love with the spring. Maybe it's that fall is too short here, or that it's alternately too hot or too cold. It's just not the autumn that I remember. Spring, on the other hand, is wet, green, and new-smelling. It lets me out of the house; it takes away my sweaters and makes me open the windows to let in the air. I love it.

2. What is it about your favorite season that, well, makes it your favorite season?
Whoops, I just answered that. I think it's also the memory of being big with Sam when spring came last year. I wasn't uncomfortable yet, but I just felt as though I was blossoming. I may always associate spring with pregnancy.

3. What is your least favorite time of year? Why?
You try being a fair-skinned redhead in the summer and see how you like it. It's misery! Plus our air conditioner doesn't work so well.

4. Do you do anything to celebrate or recognize the changing of seasons?
Not really. I've been too busy working. I expect that I'll be doing more now that I'm home with Sam: going out to see leaves, planting flowers, etc.

5. What's your favorite thing to do outside?
I like to walk in the woods, especially over rough terrain, with creeks, streams, and fallen trees. My grandmother's property includes several big hills, and we cousins spent many vacations exploring those woods - and scrubbing with lye soap when we got back, averting the onset of poison oak.

posted by Carrie - 09:06 AM

Thursday, March 21

Okay, I'm calling it. Sam's first word: "Mama."

He's actually been saying it for some time, but I was never sure if it was meant to refer to me; he'd say it when he saw me, with a big grin, but I'd hear him saying it at other times, too. Last night, though, he woke up from what I think was a nightmare, since he never cries when he wakes. He started sobbing, "Mum-mum-mum-mum-mum!" and pulled me close until he quieted and calmed. This morning, again, he was playing on the bed with (sleeping) Eric when I stepped out of the room to grab something. After a few seconds, I heard a high-pitched, "Mum-mum-mum-mum!" and he began to wail. I ran back to see what was wrong, and he reached for me with both arms, chanting my name. "Mum-mum-mum!"

A word! Awwww....

posted by Carrie - 08:26 AM

Wednesday, March 20

Something new. (With apologies to Aimee and Judy.)

posted by Carrie - 04:40 PM

So, Liza Minelli is getting married. Want to buy her a gift?

(And what's a "pumpkin box," anyway?)

posted by Carrie - 08:58 AM

Tuesday, March 19

Okay, so Sam has now reached the point where he would really like to be able to move from standing to sitting whenever he wants, but he knows that simply letting go of the object on which he is balancing will result in pain and a fright. I'm trying to teach him how to bend his knees and sit, but he just gets mad when I try.

Somebody tell me that this won't take long.

posted by Carrie - 07:59 PM

There's a new entry up in the journal. Depression and Sam stories.

posted by Carrie - 10:58 AM

Monday, March 18

zoloft (4k image)

So, Zoloft. I'm supposed to start tonight, taking it after I nurse Sam to sleep; it's reported to be safe for nursing, but I'm timing it right before the longest stretch of no nursings, just in case. Since it might cause drowsiness, that's a good time to take it anyway.

The Zoloft commercials with the little bubble-man always made me giggle. Now I get to be him. Will I start chasing ladybugs in a few weeks?

posted by Carrie - 02:32 PM

Sunday, March 17

Nervous about tomorrow. Don't really want to talk about that, though. So...

Tests. Yes.

posted by Carrie - 09:10 PM

Saturday, March 16

Because my site was down yesterday and I couldn't post, here's yesterdays...
Friday Five:

1. What's your favorite animal?
Probably the hippopotamus, but mainly because I'm jealous of their lifestyle.

2. What pets have you had in your lifetime?
Hermit crabs and guinea pigs. I never had any pets when I was a kid, since I'm allergic to animal dander and we had a tiny house. The crabs and the piggies were all after I got married.

3. Is there any specific pet that you've wanted but never had? Why?
No. To be truthful, I'm really not much of an animal lover. I like to play with them, and then hand them back to their owners.

4. Are you allergic to any animals?
Like I said, animal dander. Depending on the levels of dander, I can be around certain cats or dogs, but I never know which until it's too late and I'm miserable with sneezing and sniffling.

5. Do you have any 'pet' pet peeves (your pets or others')?
I don't like being mauled by overly friendly pets. Call me a wet blanket, but it's not for me.

posted by Carrie - 08:40 AM

Thursday, March 14

Dump the cup on the floor.
Pick up two or three Cheerios; stick your whole hand in your mouth.
Suck on the Cheerios for a few seconds, then spit them out onto the floor.
Grab a few more Cheerios, and toss them in the air.
Pick up the soggy Cheerios and reinsert them in your mouth.
Make a sour face and spit them out again; look for more crunchy ones.
See Mommy picking up the Cheerios and laugh, because soon you'll be able to start all over again.


posted by Carrie - 08:00 PM

Wednesday, March 13

If someone can tell me how to make the pull-down link menu play nicely with the "links open in new window" button, I'd be grateful. I'd also love to know how to make that menu smaller, too (font-wise, not content-wise, of course).

posted by Carrie - 04:39 PM

New entry in the journal. Not really anything new to you guys; just about the upcoming appointment and such.

posted by Carrie - 12:40 PM

Tuesday, March 12

cackling (24k image)

posted by Carrie - 08:49 PM

I have an appointment on Monday morning with Sam's doctor (a general practitioner, by the way, not a pediatrician). I trust him a great deal; he's very open-minded to both natural and allopathic treatments and he's on the same page as us with regards to parenting (that is, he's not going to tell me to wean Sam in order to go on medications).

I have mixed felings. On one hand, I feel like if I made it as long as I have, another week won't kill me. On the other hand, I'm a little miffed that, having taken the difficult step to ask for help, I'm now being told to wait. I want to talk to somebody now, darn it!

Oh, well. In better news, Sam started cruising around furniture today. Of course, he keeps forgetting that he can't walk yet, so he frequently lets go and spins away into emptiness. I think I'll get him a helmet.

posted by Carrie - 08:46 PM

Monday, March 11

Okay, this is getting a little out of hand. I'm turning off comments on the entry about my going to the doctor, just because it's not really helping and it's really beginning to make me feel much, much worse. [more]

posted by Carrie - 01:54 PM

nosehat (13k image)

posted by Carrie - 10:33 AM

Sunday, March 10

If it's not him, then it's me.

There's something very wrong in my head, and I really, really hate being me right now.

I'm calling a doctor tomorrow morning.

This has to stop.

Thank you for all the comments below; I need to feel supported. I've cried to much today already, and I can feel more coming on. Eric says we can go out somewhere to take my mind off everything, or I can go by myself. I just want to stop thinking.

posted by Carrie - 10:58 AM

Holy cow! Look at this!

Am I the only woman who would never, ever, ever use a product like this? Nah, can't be. Think it would really sell at all?

posted by Carrie - 10:42 AM

Saturday, March 9

God, the Universe, and plain old good luck is watching out for me. A few hours ago, I was sitting on the floor, watching Sam play with his toys, and feeling horribly depressed - even a little crazy. Eric's at work today, and I was only a few thoughts away from picking up his sample bottle of Wellbutrin (which the doctor says he now doesn't need) and popping a few. Honestly, I toyed with the idea of taking more, and the only reason I could come up with to argue against it was that Sam would need to nurse soon.

But then the phone rang, and Amy listened to me and talked me out of it, and she made me smile. I'm feeling much better now. I love my friend.

But I need to do something about those moods. Amy says, correctly, that I need more time for myself. I wish Eric was more capable of taking Sam for extended periods. Maybe tomorrow I'll head out by myself for a few hours and see how they do...

posted by Carrie - 03:14 PM

Friday, March 8

Friday Five:

1. What makes you homesick?
Any of Sam's milestones; I regret that Mom isn't here to see them. Also, the thought of hills and mountains; Ohio is too flat!

2. Where is "home" for you? Is it where you are living now, or somewhere else (ie: Mom & Dad's house, particular state/city)?
I'm in a weird place right now. West Virginia, especially the Morgantown area, is the closest thing to "home" to me; it's where I met and married Eric, and it's where I really came into myself. Since Sam was born, though, I've been really missing my family. Not the hometown, mind you, just the family.

3. What makes it home for you? People? Things?
For my hometown, it's just the people, and only a special few of them. For Morgantown, it's everything - the people, the college, the geography and climate, the atmosphere, the smell.

4. Where is the furthest you've been from home, miles-wise?
Orlando, Florida - 910 miles. And we drove, people.

5. What are your plans for this weekend?
Hopefully, we'll finish up the baby-proofing (does the madness never end? Now he's into the under-computer area big-time) and clean.

posted by Carrie - 08:40 AM

Thursday, March 7

New entry up in the journal. Did I ever tell you about my stalker?

posted by Carrie - 08:30 PM

"Does everybody know what time it is?"
"Tool Time!"
Arrr, arrr, arrr.

Now if I could only convince Sam to stop trying to "help" me with the thing long enough to install the Tot Loks, I'd be all set. He's already defeated the regular cabinet latches, pieces of crap that they are.

I felt like such a man's woman buying the thing, too.

posted by Carrie - 05:08 PM

Wednesday, March 6

Ripped from Judy:

angel (48k image)
Congratulations, you are an Angel of Death! God may be too squeamish to kill thousands in one blow, but you're certainly not. With morality and piety on your side, your righteous anger keeps your spirits high as you send millions to everlasting torment. While God surely admires your loyalty and dedication to ridding the earth of sin, you may want to reread your ten commandments one more time, just to make sure you do have a place behind the pearly gates once your bloody work is done.

Take the High Yield Killing Method Test Now!!

posted by Carrie - 07:05 PM

So how come nobody ever told me how easy it is to make caramel corn from scratch? Is it a big secret? Am I supposed to now keep the secret and not tell anybody else? Like that'll happen... [more]

posted by Carrie - 09:10 AM

Tuesday, March 5

There's a new entry up in the journal. Do you have a tribe?

posted by Carrie - 09:02 PM

Dinner tonight: Curried Tofu Cutlets. Problem: the recipe calls for four ounces of tofu, and a block is fifteen. Once you open a sealed package, you're supposed to change the water daily (thank you, Home Comforts), which I do not intend to obligate myself to do. I think I'll just fry it all up and make Tofu Mole or something.

Oh, and did I mention that Eric and I are trying to cut back on our meat consumption?

posted by Carrie - 04:23 PM

So, in the end we decided to go to LLL last night. Sam was clingy beyond words for the first ten minutes or so, crying whenever we started to laugh, but when a little girl started bringing him toys, he warmed up. Actually, he wanted her pretty purple, sparkling sneakers, but she wasn't about to share those. He did his best to try to confiscate one, though, so I had to step in and separate them before screaming ensued.

I met a cool woman, too, who might end up being a good friend. Expect an entry later tonight.

posted by Carrie - 04:19 PM

Monday, March 4

If you read the comments to that last entry, you know that Sam isn't feeling up to par. I think he may be fighting off my cold from last week; his nose is a little bit runny (though not much) and his voice is a wee bit scratchy. Mostly, though, he's just ticked.

I'm trying to decide whether we should go to La Leche League tonight. On the one hand, he usually loves it with his whole being, and it would probably cheer him up some. I'm pretty fond of it, myself. On the other hand, if he's sick, he may not be in a meetin'-and-greetin' kind of mood. I also don't want to expose other kids to my kid's germs.

But he may not even be sick. It could be teething, I suppose. I don't know.

What do you think? Stay or go? It's not a huge deal; we'll certainly survive if we don't go this month. Eric says we should go.

On the plus side, I got the kitchen closet cleaned and organized during Sam's nap. Go, me!

posted by Carrie - 05:42 PM

I am about to start ripping my hair out.

posted by Carrie - 02:12 PM

Oh, my soul. I think I could set up permanent residence in one of these.

posted by Carrie - 08:45 AM

Sunday, March 3

Suggestions on how to convince a baby that yanking hair isn't funny? He thinks it's bloody hysterical, standing on my lap, yanking as hard as he can, and blabbering and laughing away. "A-heh-bub-bub-bub!"

Even funnier when Mommy yelps. Hilarious when Daddy grabs his hands and says, "No!" I'm kind of at a loss.

posted by Carrie - 06:04 PM

Saturday, March 2

Sam is nurse-napping in the sling as Eric and I sit and play at the computers in the lab at my old grad school, killing the afternoon. (Eric had a blood draw done earlier, and since we had to drive to this neighboring town, we decided to enjoy it.) The child is exhausted; the life of a baby is a strenuous one. Vita dura est, as Eric's old Latin books say.

A little bit ago, when Sam was still in that dark-circled eyes, cling to Mama's shirt stage of sleepiness, we heard the Men's Choir rehearsing, so we went up to the balcony to observe them. He loved it. He didn't smile or bounce, as he sometimes does to show his appreciation, but he didn't make a sound as he focused intently upon the backs of the vocalists. His body tensed and he leaned forward slightly in my arms.

I can't wait to hear his own singing voice. I love the sound of a child singing, and I want to teach him so many songs, so many dances. I wonder whether he'll have a high voice or a low one? Will it be sweet or strident? I hope he'll want to join a youth choir, though I won't push it.

Is it wrong to wish that he'll love music as much as I do?

posted by Carrie - 01:54 PM

Friday, March 1

There's something a little disturbing about waking out of a dream wherein someone is forcibly taking your blood, and discovering a large, painful red bruise on the inside of your arm.

posted by Carrie - 05:28 PM

No lie, I swear. A little while ago, I'm in the kitchen, hanging a way-too-expensive baby gate; Sam is sitting on the floor behind me, playing with his toys. The radio is playing in the background, and No Doubt's Hey, Baby comes on the air.

The chorus began: "Hey, baby, hey, baby, hey!"
Sam suddenly started babbling at the top of his little lungs: "Hay bay bay! Bay bay hay bay bay bay bay!"

I nearly fell down laughing. My little mimic! Eric didn't believe me when I called him and told him, though. I hope Sam repeats it later.

posted by Carrie - 05:26 PM

Friday Five:

1. What's your favorite vacation spot?
I never get to go on vacation; how would I have a favorite? I love visiting big cities, though. These days, my favorite vacations involve anywhere I can be with my mom and dad.
2. Where do you consider to be the biggest hell-hole on earth?
Greenup, Illinois. Our marching band got stranded there when I was in high school; a bus ran out of gas and we had to kill time until they could get more. There were three restaurants in the whole town, I think, and we picked the buffet one, which ended up being the worst mistake possible. Let's just say that it was over ten years ago, and I still get the chills thinking about it. Some things get funnier with time; Greenup does not.
3. What would be your dream vacation?
Europe, particularly Italy (But particularly Germany. And most particularly France.) In seven years or so, so Sam can appreciate it more.
4. If you could go on a road-trip with anyone, who would it be and why?
My best friend Amy. I don't think we've ever done that, either, which saddens me.
5. What are your plans for this weekend?
Bed rails and baby gates. I'd also like to do some heavy-duty cleaning upstairs. I'm a party animal, aren't I?

posted by Carrie - 09:02 AM

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